* Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven.
At the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: "Well, you've been such a good
guy, invented the car, changed the world. As a reward you can hang out
with anybody in Heaven of your choice."
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: "I would like to hang out with God himself?"
So St Peter takes him directly to God's thrown and Henry Ford starts by
saying: "God, I don't want to sound biased, but you have some major
design flaws in Your invention, the Woman.
1. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much
4. The intake is too close to the exhaust."
"MMMMM" says God and goes over to the Celestial Super Computer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results.
He then turns to Henry Ford and says; "It may be that My invention is
flawed, but according to the stellar computer more men are riding My
invention then your's".
* A man pulls up next to a girl walking home from school and said: "If you get in, I'll give you a Lollypop."
The girl kept on walking and the man said: "If you get in I'll give you two Lollypops."
The girl kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued walking. The man
said: "Get in and I'll give you a whole bag of Lollypops."
Finally, the girl turned and said: "Look Dad, You bought the FORD, You ride in it!!!"
* Sometimes the best jokes are
true. On May 12th FORD announced a recall on it's Expeditions and
F-Series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to fall off.
It just keeps getting better!
* A Texan man was talking big
in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had
been with, and how much land he owned.
A young man growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan; "Just how much land do you own?"
The Texan tipped back he's Cowboy hat and said to the young man: "Well
sunny let me put it to you like this, I can get into my pickup at
sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch, and still not get to the other
side of my property by sunset."
The young man shot back quickly: "Oh ye, I know what you mean. I used to own a FORD truck too!"
* I was driving my Ford truck down the road
When I realised it was gonna explode
The Ford motor blew up in my face
So I put a Chevy motor in it's place
I drove that truck until the body pannels rusted away
But that old Chevy motor still runs to this day.
* Here I sit broken hearted
Wishing that my Ford would have started
But it didn't, so that's a rap
So I think I'll shoot that piece of crap.
* Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for Fords
Our tools would rust.
* Buy a Ford
Buy the best
Drive a mile
Walk the rest.
