"Have you out-driven a Ford lately?"
"I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford."
"Friends don't let friends drive Fords."
"I'd rather push a BMW then drive a Ford."
"Ford Escort me to a Toyota dealer."
"Speed kills. Drive a Ford and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Ford's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a FORD if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
Jannie: "My parents just bought me a new Ford Icon."
Koosie: "So what did you do to p.ss them off?"
"Next time somebody tells you
that Ford means First On Race Day, remind them that anything would be
fast if it required mechanics to work on it all week long just to run
one good race time."
Q. What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?
?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q. What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford's user's manual?
A. The train & bus schedule.
Q. What do you call a Ford at the top of a Hill?
A. A Miracle.
Q. What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts?
A. A wheelbarrow
Q. Why do Ford call their new Focus and Mondeo the ST170 and ST220 respectively?
A. Ford actually now include a 170 km and 220 km warranty on those models.
Q. What is the Ford owner's most ardent wish?
A. To buy a car.
Q. What do you call a Ford with a seat belt?
A. A rucksack.
Q. How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.
Q. What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?
A. A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q. What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A. Max speed - 60 km/h - Fords do best you can.
Q. Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A. So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q. Why does Ford make tractors and Opel not?
A. Because Opel can't get anything to run that slow.
Q. What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine?
A. Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Q. Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed?
A. It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q. What is the aim of a Ford project car?
A. An attempt to keep their car running.
Q. What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon?
A. A tampon comes with it's own towe rope.
Q. how can they improve a Ford bakkie?
A. Put a Toyota engine in it.
Q. Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Fords?
A. So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q. How do you double the value of a Ford Icon?
A. Full the tank with petrol.
Q. What did the Toyota say to the Ford?
A. Would you like a towe home?
Q. What should the Ford Mustang really be called?
A. The Ford Rustang.
Q. Why is this country so far in debt?
A. Because the president drives a Ford.
Q. Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford bakkies?
A. To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.
Q. Why do the new FORD Explorers have larger bumpers?
A. To make it easier on the towe trucks.
Q. Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold?
A. So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push he's FORD F150 back into the dealer's show room.
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he's F150 got stuck.
